The silver lining in the dark grey storm clouds marking our lousy spring has been the enforced opportunity to tackle long-overdue indoor chores, like sorting one’s sock drawer and organizing one’s music library. It was while embarked upon the later task that I was suddenly struck by a nagging question:
Why are there no lawyer songs?
There are songs aplenty celebrating the other participants in the justice system – desperados and outlaws of every description, and even sheriffs (who did shoot that sheriff, by the way?), but none to honour lawyers. There are songs bemoaning the outcome of trials, with singers stuck in Folsom prison, but nary a line about the legal aid lawyer who tried to keep them free.
Chuck Berry once even penned a verse recounting how the judge’s wife got into the act, demanding that, “You free that brown-eyed man!”, but still no ballads celebrating lawyers.
It is a travesty, and something needs to be done. It is simply not right that a profession as venerable as the law doesn’t have its own anthem. If space cowboys, and witch doctors can have a song, then dammit, so should we.
So, dear reader, here is your soggy spring assignment. Help us write the quintessential lawyer’s song – take the music from your favourite rock & roll classic, and write us some new, lawyer-centric lyrics, or, if you are a musical prodigy, create a complete masterpiece from scratch. We need something we can hum while bounding up the court house steps, something that will top the charts, and remind everybody how really great, loveable and cuddly we lawyers really are.
Let’s call a contest!
The winner is to receive a modest iTunes gift card, and a chance to have their lawyer tune immortalized on YouTube by the infamous GreenWay Karaoke Chorus – now recovered from their debut performance at the Christmas party.
As with all our contests, there are very few rules (except, please, no bagpipes, and lyrics must be in English, or a reasonable approximation thereof, with a sprinkling of legalese permitted). Plagiarism is expected, and indeed, encouraged. Our panel of judges prefers upbeat rock & roll, and is looking for something inspirational, but if you are a lover of Broadway show tunes, or an aspiring rapper you can still play.
Be guided by the immortal words of Lord Byron, who said, “Fools are my theme – let satire be my song!”
Make your submissions loud and proud! I can hardly wait to hear what you come up with.
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